Its funny how our priorities can change as we age. And its funny how the things that people told you before, the life quotes that made you roll your eyes and exclaim loudly that it was going to be different for you because of how much you were in control of your life at 16 years old, actually come true. And right at that moment, you finally realise that you really don't have as much control over life as you think you do.
A couple of months back at 24 years, i decided to skip the usual circle of life and travel around the world while i still could. I had the entire works in my head. The grandeur dreams of quitting my job and taking on a backpack much larger than my self to expose myself to the cultures and traditions of the world. At 24, i was all about living life one day at a time. It was the time to bask in my youth and my ability for non-committal travelling.
I had no baggage, i had no commitments.
I was good to go.
Procrastination aside, i didn't quit my job and i didn't buy a backpack too large for my size to handle. So 2014 passed by just like that.
At age 25, i took action.
I signed up for whatever i needed to, went to the appropriate agencies and got the approvals. I was going, this was actually happening. And then a funny thing happen. One fine day, while mentally noting the things i had to do, i realised that i didn't want to go. It came out of nowhere and just hit me, this weird intoxicating and yet gratifying feeling. I didn't want to leave anymore. Which is seemingly mental considering i've been spending the better half of my years dreaming about leaving. And in close to 3 days worth of thoughts, i completely put the notion out of my head and let it go.
It really got me thinking as to what changed in my life for me to make a 180 turn in my mindset and in my thoughts. And for a while, i couldn't figure it out. There was nothing stopping me this time. My parents were supportive, Tim was supportive and i told all my close friends. Nothing in my life was different, but my mindset had taken a different mind on its own. As i grew up, i realised that my priorities had changed purely because i've changed as a person. I didn't need any drastic event to make a difference, i simply grew up.
I grew up realising the importance of my family, my friends and my relationships here. Everything at my life was a constant but my thinking was a variable. It was only because i changed as a person, so did my mentality, my dreams and my goals. They all changed. I learned to appreciate what i had now instead of reaching out to appreciate something much further away. I learned to be thankful for the support i've received that makes me want to repay each and every person with ten-fold of that very same support. And for the people who stood behind me in every single decision that i made, patiently waiting for the day that i would come to truly understand and appreciate their value in my life.
For that i am ever grateful.
"As i grew up, i realised that my priorities had changed. But it was only because i changed as a person, so did my mentality, my dreams and my goals. They all changed."
My first proper post back is kinda wordy without my usual self-obsessed pictures but this is one of those special posts that holds a lot of sentimental value for me. The precise reason why i started this space was to jot down the things that matter to me, so that when i get too complacent or ungrateful in life, i can look back and reflect on the mentality i had while typing this.
My thoughts, my feelings and my reasoning.
It's good to be back.